We Love Board Games. They Still Can't Replace the Most Important Thing.: Board games vs. free play

We write a board game blog. We think board games are among the best things a family can do together. And still, during strategy games, our youngest often just sits next to us and draws. Is that a shame? Look at the research, and you get a different answer.

Because once you look at what research says about play, you quickly notice: board games are just one kind of play. And the kind kids need most is a different one.

The quick answer

• The difference: In a board game, rules set the frame. In free play, kids decide everything themselves.
• What board games can do: They're guided play, and that helps with things like early math.
• What only free play can do: deciding, inventing rules and stopping, all on their own.
• The uncomfortable hypothesis: Less free play, more anxiety in kids. The link is there, the cause is debated.

Two ways to play

In a board game, almost everything is set: the rules, the goal, when it ends. Usually an adult explains how it works and plays along. In free play, it’s the other way round. Kids decide what to play, by which rules and when it’s over. Whether the sofa becomes a ship or three sticks become a kingdom is up to them.

Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget described rule games as a late stage: first comes practice play, then symbolic and pretend play, and only from around seven, play by fixed rules (Piaget, 1945). So board games build on free play. They don’t replace it.

What board games give kids

Board games belong to so-called guided play: adults set the frame, but kids still play themselves. A meta-analysis of 17 studies with around 3,900 children found small advantages of guided play over direct instruction, for example in early math (Skene et al., 2022). Dice games with numbered spaces even measurably improved number sense in studies. More on that in our article Board games by age.

Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky saw something valuable in rules themselves: when you stick to a game rule, you give up a spontaneous impulse. That’s exactly where self-control gets practiced (Vygotsky, 1967; Bodrova, Germeroth & Leong, 2013). Interesting detail: he didn’t just mean board games. Pretend play has rules too. Whoever plays “mom” acts like a mom.

What board games demonstrably don’t do: make kids smarter in general. The evidence for that is thin.

What only free play can do

In 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics published a widely noted report: The Power of Play. The core message: play, especially self-directed play with parents and other kids, supports social-emotional, cognitive and language skills and self-regulation. And it helps kids cope with stress. Pediatricians are encouraged to practically prescribe play (Yogman et al., 2018).

What happens there is something no board game can deliver: kids negotiate what counts. They argue about rules, change them, stop, start over. Nobody decides who won.

The uncomfortable hypothesis

Psychologist Peter Gray has described how much free, unsupervised play among children has declined over recent decades. Over the same period, anxiety and depression rose among children and teens. Gray considers the decline of free play one of the causes (Gray, 2011; Gray, Lancy & Bjorklund, 2023).

Important: the data show that both happened at the same time. That one caused the other is Gray’s hypothesis, not proven. It still works as food for thought: a fully scheduled afternoon isn’t play, even if it’s made of nothing but games.

What it means for game night

1. Board games aren’t a learning program. Play them because they’re fun. Everything else is a bonus.
2. Sitting next to us is fine. Our youngest often draws while we play. That’s not a missed opportunity, it’s her own kind of play.
3. Stopping is allowed. Free play ends when the kids want it to. With board games that’s not always possible, but sometimes the abandoned game is the better one.
4. Let them invent rules. Our idea, not a study: when kids make up their own house rules or even their own games, both worlds meet.
5. Don’t schedule every afternoon. Not even with games.

What do your kids play when nobody tells them what to play?

Sources

• Yogman, M., Garner, A., Hutchinson, J., Hirsh-Pasek, K., Golinkoff, R. M. et al. (2018). The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. Pediatrics, 142(3), e20182058. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2018-2058
• Skene, K., O’Farrelly, C. M., Byrne, E. M. et al. (2022). Can guidance during play enhance children’s learning and development in educational contexts? A systematic review and meta-analysis. Child Development, 93(4), 1162–1180. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13730
• Gray, P. (2011). The decline of play and the rise of psychopathology in children and adolescents. American Journal of Play, 3(4), 443–463.
• Gray, P., Lancy, D. F. & Bjorklund, D. F. (2023). Decline in independent activity as a cause of decline in children’s mental well-being: Summary of the evidence. The Journal of Pediatrics, 260, 113352. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpeds.2023.02.004
• Vygotsky, L. S. (1967). Play and its role in the mental development of the child. Soviet Psychology, 5(3), 6–18. https://doi.org/10.2753/RPO1061-040505036
• Bodrova, E., Germeroth, C. & Leong, D. J. (2013). Play and self-regulation: Lessons from Vygotsky. American Journal of Play, 6(1), 111–123.
• Piaget, J. (1945). La formation du symbole chez l’enfant (English: Play, Dreams and Imitation in Childhood).